How my version of success became my nightmare! - Get Active Online

How my version of success became my nightmare!

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Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve wanted something really badly?

You’ve thought about it for years and then when you finally do it it’s not quite what you imagined?

The last couple of years of my life have been like this!

For years I’d dreamed about having my own fitness studio. Ten years ago I started Get Active Online and loved it. I was working online, helping others feel amazing. I was sharing my passion for the fitness industry and teaching others how great you can feel when you look after yourself. For me this was just the beginning, I had always had a dream of opening my fitness studio and working full time in the fitness industry. Then 3 years ago after being made redundant from Qantas I saw it as the opportunity to embark on that dream. We started small and within a few months had a successful Personal Training and Bootcamp business. We had created an awesome community and I was loving it!

We then decided it was time to expand and get a “real” Fitness Studio.  At the time I couldn’t believe it was all happening, and so fast! Something I had worked so hard for and wanted for so long was finally happening.  Everything I “thought” I wanted was happening. We were busy, we were making money and to others, this was success.

To me my success was feeling like a nightmare!

We were working crazy hours, always busy, always stressed and really not enjoying life that much at all. I’d start my day at 5am and be lucky to be finished by 7pm. I was burnt out and not even enjoying my own fitness anymore. The weekends would roll around and all I would want to do was sleep. I was exhausted and really not enjoying life at all.

The whole reason for starting our own business was to create a nice family life and this just wasn’t happening.

Our son was being dragged everywhere, we were constantly busy, we couldn’t take decent holidays and truly shut down as we always had to worry about the business.

I started to think about what success was to me? Was this it? It didn’t feel very successful? Everyone kept telling me how well we were doing although to me it felt like a living nightmare.

All while this was happening my amazing son was diagnosed with Asperger’s (high functioning autism). For me this is when things got tough, really tough.  Here I was being told my amazing son had a disability and there would be things he would struggle with. For anyone with a child, we all want things to be easy for our child and being told he will find certain things difficult is hard to hear. Then comes the judgement from others! “but he looks normal”, “are you sure he’s not just anxious”, “he might just need a bit more discipline”. You get the looks from others, always judging your parenting and thinking they can do it better. It took us a while to actually admit to the diagnosis as Cam and I were both unsure about labeling our son.  We didn’t want people judging him or putting him in a “not normal” box. I suppose we were unsure and really didn’t know what was best for our son. After about 6 months of seeing him struggle more and more we decided that maybe we did need that “label” so he could get the help he needed. This was REALLY hard to do but was one of the best things we have done for our son. He know gets the extra help he needs and is making awesome progress.

Going through this with our son has really opened my eyes to just how much we all like to put things in a “normal” box and if you’re outside of this, something is wrong. I tend to disagree and just believe we need to get better at understanding everyone’s differences and nurturing what they are awesome at and helping more with areas they struggle with. It’s like saying that Success is: A big house, Flash Car and heaps of money in the bank. Not my idea of success if you feel like crap and stressed out to the max, have health issues and no family or true friends around!

Braden being diagnosed was a bit of a wakeup call for me.  I wanted to be there,  not just around but truly present for my son. I didn’t want to be always manic and stressed. I could finally see what was REALLY important in my life and I knew that I needed to make changes.

My FAMILY and CLOSE FRIENDS is what I craved. The simple things like waking up with energy and feeling positive. Being surrounded by family and friends and just enjoying the little things. I didn’t need more, I didn’t need bigger. I didn’t need a title. I needed to FEEL AMAZING and enjoy the amazing people in my life.

It was at this point Cam and I decided that NOTHING was worth sacrificing our family, our values and what’s truly important to us.

It was here we decided to make some changes. We were going to close down our City Studio and focus on the areas of the business we could manage and enjoy doing and I went for my first job interview in 15 years!!!

Yep, I saw a job I thought I would enjoy and went for it. On the day of my interview I was TERRIFIED but my amazing son made me some beatutiful notes to help me through it and they must have worked as I got the job.

I now have a job with the Department of Defence as a Family Liaison Officer. It’s an exciting role as it makes the most of the things I’m good at and I get to help others! It’s been scary and exciting making the change but I’m super proud of myself for making changes when they needed to be made and for realising what is most important in my life. For me this change means I can now read to my son each night, I can sit down at the dinner table and have dinner with him. We can book family holidays and know we can shut off.

It has also revived my love for my fitness and helping others. I get to get up early and do my own training now and I’m loving it! I’m inspired again and really want to get back to sharing how fitness isn’t just about looking great but more importantly how it makes you feel.

The whole reason I got into the fitness industry is because eating well and exercising made me FEEL so much better mentally and physically. I want to continue to share this with others. I don’t have time for the all or nothing crap anymore, the fake personalities in social media. I believe fitness is about helping you FEEL the best you can while enjoying life.

Life is too short to not enjoy each day and there is nothing worse than wishing time away. I really believe if things are not working for you, then YOU need to change it. No one else can make you do it. It’s up to YOU!!!

So here’s to a new and exciting chapter.

I’ll be back blogging regularly as I have my mojo back and love to share!

Just remember if life isn’t quite how you want it, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE IT.

You are not a failure if you decide to stop or change something. A failure would be to continue doing the same old thing you hate and not having the courage to change.

Life is too short not to love every minute of it. Surround yourself with amazing people and be proud of who you are and you’re off to a great start.

Success starts with FEELING AWESOME ABOUT YOU!

Love Always, Hilds

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