Overwhelmed
Right now, I’m feeling overwhelmed. Both overwhelmed by the amazing support I’m receiving from family and friends far and wide, and also by what my journey might be.
Last week I finally got to meet with the surgeon. It’s funny once you get diagnosed with cancer, your life is thrown upside down but then you seem to just wait. Anyway, I was actually looking forward to meeting the surgeon as it had been a couple of weeks of tests and more tests and waiting, and I was keen to find out where things were at and what was next.
So, Cam and I met with the surgeon and it wasn’t quite what I was expecting.
I was told that there might be more cancer in the same breast and that more tests were needed. Nothing confirmed yet, but if there was more cancer in that breast then it would mean a mastectomy.
Shit, this wasn’t the news I was hoping for. I was thinking maybe a lumpectomy and some radiation. Now I might be losing my boob! I know, you might think that sounds vain, it’s not, I’m keen to get rid of this cancer and will do whatever it takes but being told you might now have to have a mastectomy was a bit of a shock.
It was a big lesson to not expect or anticipate ANYTHING. I just need to take it one step at a time and go with it.
So, more tests, more waiting and more research. I’m actually a bit of a research freak as I like to be informed of my choices so when I do have to make decisions, I know all the options (don’t worry they are all reputable sites!)
As you can imagine, last week was a bit shit. It seems that whenever I get news that’s not great, I have a few days of anxiety and I’m quite emotional and then once I’ve got my head around it, I can move on and get back into things.
What I am doing right now is focussing on WHAT I CAN DO!
What makes me FEEL good. So, for me this means my exercise is an absolute priority. I notice when I exercise my mood is way better and my anxiety is under control, plus EVERYTHING I read recommends exercising throughout this journey, it’s great pre and post-surgery as it can really help.
So, I’m not embarking on any marathons or strength competitions, I’m simply aiming to MOVE each day. I want to go into whatever surgery or treatments I might be having FEELING GOOD. I want to keep my mood positive and exercising, eating well and surrounding myself with positive people will make this happen.
That’s my update. I’m going to keep blogging as it’s my way of sharing my message and also if there are any other women out there like me that like to research the shit out of everything, you can follow along my journey.
I hope you are all having a great start to the week.
Make it amazing.
Hilds
P.s always remember you have a choice to how YOU RESPOND to any situation!